So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
