Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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