I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
