At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
