Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
His hands were made for my vagina.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize