do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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