at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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