i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
