Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
