i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I need help removing her.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
