If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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