This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
