I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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