thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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