you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
