I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
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THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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