Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
