all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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