THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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