Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
