So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
