he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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