forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
