I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
birth control should be required to get into college
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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