we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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