Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Randomize
