Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize