After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
