Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
