eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
And then my night got REAL pukey
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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