this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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