It's like God shit irony all over that family
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
be right there i have to get my cape
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird