The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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