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• (716): View more from New York

  i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...

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• (415): View more from California

  Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.

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• (631): View more from New York

  You only like me because I'm a challenge

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You already blew me

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?

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• (315): View more from New York

  Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it

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