i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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