im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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