It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
