the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
