He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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