I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
