I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
