I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
