you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
