Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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