Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
