I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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