Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
