Christians are straight up FREAKS
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
