i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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