I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize