Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
