I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We need a shit load of segways right now
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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