Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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