I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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