god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
