My Higher Power is John Stamos
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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