He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
