i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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