K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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