I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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