Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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