she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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