no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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