K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
