I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
