There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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