he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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