why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
