One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
