You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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