I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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