Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
