Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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