Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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