Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
